The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
