I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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