I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
