Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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