Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she peed on how many people?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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