She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
