You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
