Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
