do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
please don't ironically join a cult
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