Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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