New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize