...so i touched it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
