i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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