oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
