My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I touched a dick in church today
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
