and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
