I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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