Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're my little dorito
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
