handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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