yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
