And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize