hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
