I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
two words...techno handjob
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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