need another drink. this is the easiest way
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
