True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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