he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
