some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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