yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
