i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
