I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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