Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize