I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
