Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
