no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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