Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
