i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
