No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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