is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
