Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize