what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
