escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm at about main and main street
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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