Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I have post one night stand depression
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