This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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