I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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