Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Actions speak louder than pants.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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