Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
