Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
