how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize