it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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