sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
