Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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