C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
