You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
