I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
