Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
