sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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