T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
birth control should be required to get into college
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
