SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
