girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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