Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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