Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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