I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
