I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
