ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
