hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
