Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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