He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Your tits are I can't wait for
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
